Do you know the seasonal story about the Angels greeting the shepards with 'Fear not!' ? I was thinking about what fear drives us to do, or keeps us from doing. The "what ifs" of life. The 'yeah but'..... I wonder how different my life would be if I had not been afraid of going out of my comfort zone so many times in my life.
I have a daughter who decided she wanted to travel internationally. I have heard so many people say, "She is brave! I would not have done that at her age." or "You are a brave mom, I couldn't let my child do that." This is something I don't believe I ever had a choice in 'letting her'. Yes, I admit, I have been nervous and at one point down right 'spazzed out' because I had not had contact for an extended amount of time.(LOL sorry, not sorry Brook) But that brings me to my point of writing today. I could let the fear control my thoughts and worry about what might happen to her, or I can simply trust that I have raised a competent and adventurous young woman! I know she is having an amazing life changing experience! I know there is very little I can do to control her travels and the people and places that are part of her experience. So there in the lack of control, is where the fear I could conjure up comes from.
Control, when we feel we are in control of our lives and the happenings, we generally do not experience fear. It is when the unknown comes into play. The 'what ifs' become big ugly monsters. They are there to destroy the happiness that is you. It will keep us from trying new things, talking to new people, eating new foods, and simply trusting that our efforts on a day to day basis are 'enough'.
What to do about it?
I say really look at your fear. Stare it in the eye! What are you afraid of? Is is rational? Could it really even be ? THEN ask "What good is my fear/worry doing?" Is it helping the person or situation you are fearing? Is it keeping me from being present right now? I was walking down the beach in the late afternoon the sun was casting beautiful colors in the sky and the water was still and calm.....I was mentally obsessing about a fear I was having and I noticed that I was missing enjoying the beautiful afternoon!!! I quickly shook some sense into myself and shut down the fear machine in my head by paying attention to the colors, the water and the birds. I said 'Thank You!" out loud as I took in my little slice of paradise. I felt better as the shift in my mental focus happened so did the 'pit' in my stomach go away.
We are able to control only ourselves and the way we choose to see the world. I strongly suggest that you make the choice to be present, as it is the only guarantee and stop fearing the future. Live to your best each day, apply yourself to whatever your day brings and be grateful for the goodness that is. You will find that keeping the fear from controlling you will help you feel more in control and so on and so on........