In the last year the universe has given me SOOOO many opportunities to learn to trust. Trust others, trust myself ....trust 'The Plan". In a world full of selfish and self motivated people it is more and more difficult to trust others. In a life time of having my choices and thoughts 'over-ridden' by someone else's 'better idea' it was difficult to trust myself. I had really become jaded and sad. It almost felt like everyone else in the world was also lacking the trust and sense of community that comes with trusting others.
Today, I got to see that not EVERYONE lacks trust. I experienced a woman who still trusts! I was waiting on my oil change at the car dealership. I was chatting with this nice woman, also waiting. She left the waiting room to speak to the service manager and left behind her phone and her PURSE! I was shocked! I am happy that I felt trustworthy to her! I am sadden that it will only take one moral-less person to ruin her trust in others!! I would love to say "Wow, I wish more people were like her." However, I feel like there are too many shitty, selfish, immoral humans that would rather steal then do the right thing. (There is the jaded thing I mentioned) So, here is my modified wish....."I wish that we all could feel more like her, because we TRUST that there are more of us that will do the right thing then those who would steal."
So this leads me to think of how I have begun to learn my lesson of TRUST over the past year. I have learned WHO to trust. I had to start with getting back to my spiritual baseline. I had to go back to the knowledge that I was created for a purpose! My impact on this big old world is predetermined in the PLAN. Fortunately, I get free will and choices in that framework, but I am beginning to see that each of my experiences has lead me to this very place! I am beginning to TRUST that my choices and their consequences were all for my good. It is almost overwhelming when I spend time looking at the good that has come from my 'bad'!!! It is that "AH-HA! moment" that everyone talks about. Still, trust is hard!
So what do I do? Sit back and let God drive!!! "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
Nope, this is the part about learning to TRUST myself. Wow! this is even harder!!! Using the free will that we all have, wisely.....for years I made choices that seemed to lead to screw ups, hurts, disappointment, lost resources, and in general doubt in myself! I always tried to 'do the right thing' but what I have learned is that doing what is right for someone else is not the 'right thing' when it goes against my belief system. I have had to reconnect with that belief system. (see above paragraph) and listen to that still, SMALL, voice that is directed by my belief system. This is tough in a noisy, busy, stressful, and always 'on' world. I recommend EVERYONE sitting still and 'listening' to your inner voice. It is a real skill, and I believe a life changing one. I learned to do this with guided meditation. I have seen, actually feel, the benefits daily. I am able to focus on daily life. I appreciate life's little moments. I am calmer in stressful situations, I am able to act in a way that is going to serve me and my greater purpose. I trust that I am making the right choices.
I am still leaning into this lesson of trust. Mostly what I have learned about trust is still a bit shaky. I have to trust other humans cautiously, because they are humans. I have to trust God, the universe, the light....with faith. I understand I am part of the collective energy, and I want my part to be beautiful. I want to make a positive impact on others and be the reason others feel they can trust strangers. I want to do 'the right thing' and never waiver from this strength, because I TRUST that my plan is really really amazing!!